Comedians brag about ‘Killing’ and the ‘Standing Os’ they get, and they’re usually lying, but I just killed at my dry cleaners, I swear.
An older lady brings my Martinized, sanitized, clean pressed shirts out to me and there’s a lone, dirty white sock stapled to the bag. She said, “We never throw anything out, in case it’s of value.” I was embarrassed at first, but then thought I’d have fun with it. (There were 2 High School kids working behind her, and that’s who I played to) “I’m glad you kept that filthy sock,” I said. “That was my grandma’s, and we were going to bury her with it, but we couldn’t find the darn thing. The whole family’s been going crazy looking for her sock.” I took a beat and said, “We lost her over the Memorial Day weekend in a bizarre accident during a game of ‘Jarts’.” (the kids are stifling laughs, so I continue) “Mema Godwin wore that one sock while she worked in the garden, bless her soul. It was kinda like a Michael Jackson one glove thing. She said it gave her better footing to plant the tomatoes. You didn’t happen to find her fishing knickers, did ya?” (On the word “knickers”, the one girl spit out her soda) My work is done here.
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